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Brain Freeze: I scream, you scream...
  7th Jun 2014

ESTON BLUMENTHAL first created his sharp and sweet mustard ice cream (now sold commercially through Waitrose) for his Berkshire restaurant The Fat Duck in 2011, and it was all the rage that summer. Later, when it was super trendy to love bacon, people decided they had to have cured pig worked into literally everything they consumed — and this included toothpaste, so bacon ice cream was still relatively tame.

It's hard to mess it up, which is why experimenting with and turning every flavour you fancy into ice cream is fun. But when you find yourself thinking flavours like Cheeseburger, Schezuan Strawberry and Octopus Meat in Red Cherry Ice are vanilla, it's safe to assume that humanity is going through some sort of major mid-Cenozoic crisis. Here are five wonderful examples of how boredom can drive you to create twisted, unnecessary things.

1  The arousal

Last month, award-winning British food inventor Charlie Harry Francis posted a photograph on his blog of ice cream laced with Viagra. He was asked to create it for an A-list celebrity client, whose name has to remain anonymous, because lawsuit.

"...But I am allowed to say that they were 'very happy with the end result'," he revealed proudly.

2  Birdy nom nom

Goddamnit, Japan. Everyone knows you're weird and kinky and really big on shock value, but pet bird ice cream? Created by and served in Torimi Cafe (Kobe), which draws crowds because of the 36 pet birds that surround you as you sip your tea there, we cringed to think how they created this line. Available in Java Sparrow, Cockatiel and Parakeet flavours, it turns out the creators aren't bird-killers, but they're still plenty ridiculous: Cockatiel, for instance, is made from things the bird eats — honey-apple, pumpkin and sunflower seeds — and tastes "as if you're sleeping with your mouth open and a cockatiel runs over your face and gets its leg in your mouth." Er. What?

3  Durian durian

WHY? Why would you pick up a fruit so revolting that it's banned in hotels and public transportation across Southeast Asia, and try and do ANYTHING with it? There is so much other fruit to play around with. I mean, what person craving ice cream is going to walk into a parlour and think, "Hey, a scoop of toe jam would be nice. Could you top that with nuts and my hemorraging brain, please?"

4  Influenza sorbet

Okay, this one's not that outlandish, but it's weird enough. Ohio-based Jeni's Splendid Ice Creams is a sweet little shop known for its offbeat, limited edition flavours. Sometime last year, she came up with the semi-medicinal Hot Toddy Sorbet, which clearly was the cure everyone was looking for because it has quickly become one of her hottest selling concoctions. Packed with orange, lemon, honey, pectin, cayenne pepper and whiskey, it's Jeni's grandmother's recipe for surviving the Midwestern winter. Image 2nd

5  Glow in the dark

Another one of Francis' inventions, created in time for Halloween last year, this $225 fluoro scoop was developed with the help of a Chinese scientist. "It glows when you lick it," he announced, making me want to do somersaults with excitement. Till I realised it was made of jellyfish. Gee, thanks. A less exotic, but more palatable (and cheaper) version of this phosphorescent food, is his gin and tonic sorbet that glows under a UV light thanks to the quinine in the tonic, which has luminescent properties.

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