Prime Edition

Too much masala, too little taste

4th Apr 2014

Main Tera Hero

Director: David Dhawan

Starring: Varun Dhawan, Ileana D'Cruz, Nargis Fakhri, Anupam Kher

Back when David Dhawan and Govinda were exclusive, and a bit like (forgive the comparison for one minute) Tim Burton and Johnny Depp, scoring hit after hit at the box office, we were all very amused for some reason. I suspect the reason was that at the time we didn't have much of a choice. 2014, however, is a different story altogether. No? Come ON, it is. Please?

I know what everyone's saying. Words like "masala", "entertainer" and "masses" are being flung about with misplaced joy; things like "leave your brain at home" and "typical David Dhawan" are escaping the mouths of otherwise reliable and mentally stable people. But they shouldn't. Just because it's an entertainer masses masala (I promise the order of these words doesn't matter), doesn't excuse an absconding plot, tiresome acting and excruciatingly unfunny dialogue. "Main dikhta hoon sweet, innocent Swami type ka, par hoon bahut bada harami type ka," repeats Seenu all too frequently, followed by utter nonsense like "Haath mein hockey lekar, pant mein jockey lekar, aise chowki-dar ki tarah kyun khade ho..." Yo, Milap Zaveri, how long are you going to push your luck?

For those who still wondering, Main Tera Hero is about Seenu (Varun Dhawan), a college student in love with Sunaina (Ileana D'Cruz), who's been forced into committing marriage to a local cop Angad (Arunoday Singh). Angad has rage issues, brought into focus repeatedly with menacing background music every time he cracks knock-knock jokes. Yeah, that doesn't make sense to us either, not to worry. Cut to Ayesha (Nargis Fakhri), the spoilt young daughter of a massive "drug lord" (Anupam Kher in a pony-tailed blond wig), who is in love with Seenu because once upon a time she saw him do something heroic on a local train or something. So now she wants to marry him and her father will make damn sure she gets what she wants. He kidnaps Sunaina to get Seenu's attention, and sure enough, Seenu shows up at their massive mansion in Bangkok to save the day (they don't call him hero for nothing - just kidding, they do). The details of it all are so ridiculous they just don't deserve getting into. Plus, I'm convinced I've got stuff mixed up/wrong because there's no way this is really what goes down.

Arunoday Singh's character has a sidekick in Rajpal Yadav, who makes you laugh every time he jumps into Singh's lap (and this is alarmingly often), but there really is nothing to redeem this. D'Cruz spends most of her time staring wide-eyed at everything and everyone, Nargis Fakhri (bless her freaky pout) proves once again that she can't act, and Varun Dhawan should just be grateful that this wasn't the movie he debuted with.

-Ravina Rawal

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