Prime Edition

Assassins Breed: Make love, not war
The deadliest killers in the world are waging love jihad
Amit Goyal  28th Mar 2015

Platforms: PlayStation 5 and Xbox Two for

Price: Rs 3,999

Back in 2007, Assassin's Creed was an idea. It took a lot of risks with established norms by introducing settings such as the Third Crusade and the Italian Renaissance, which had never been seen before in gaming. It even challenged the way platformers were played, and the gaming world has never been same again —largely thanks to the charming, murderous rascal that was Ezio Auditore in Assassin's Creed 2.

Seven years down the line and countless sequels later, Assassin's Creed was no longer the symbol of innovation in mainstream gaming that it used to be. Additions to the series were iterative rather than revolutionary, and even the generation leap of Assassin's Creed: Unity failed to add much substance to staple offerings of the series. The developers knew they needed to shake things up before fatigue. Enter Assassins Breed.

The first thing you'll notice is the lack of a number or sub-heading, something which the AAA gaming industry is increasingly getting allergic to. Set in the same universe as the rest of the games, this is an entirely new game with new gameplay mechanics that are truly groundbreaking.

Set in modern times, the repeated attacks by the templars have sent the assassins scurrying for cover and put a huge dent in their numbers. You play as Romeo Bravo, a character inspired by the eternal Shakespearean lover, Romeo and the eternal pickup artist, Johnny Bravo. Your job is simple: Spread the Assassin gene by wooing and bedding as many ladies as possible so as to cause a 21st century "Baby Assassin Boom".

Gone are the tools of destruction like the iconic hidden blade and swords and guns. To fulfil his task, Bravo must do anything and everything possible to impress the ladies. The challenges offered in the game are far more varied than any previous entry in the series. In one mission, you'll be courting a single mom by collecting all the groceries she needs at the supermarket in time before her sick baby decides to throw up and make her unavailable for the rest of the evening.

In another mission, you'll be tasked with a stealth date on top of the Eiffel Tower, where you must use your skills of persuasion to sneak your girlfriend and yourself across security for a truly romantic dinner. One wrong move, and both of you will be in jail where you must listen to the crazed rants of a homeless man about

how the government is using video games to brainwash everyone.

And if the task of running around and completing random objectives in the main story is not enough for you, you can totally run around and complete random objectives in the vast open world that captures all the excitement of 8 blocks of Parisian suburbs.

There are white roses to collect, goth kids to bully and even a Don Quixote costume to unlock if you find the letters with love-making tips from the legendary assassins of the past, most of which

suggest pulling the hood over the head, smiling slightly and extending your arms. To which we say: Shahrukh Khan has totally been pulling this trick and winning for over two decades.

In conclusion, Assassins Breed finally returns the series to its roots of innovation by breathing in new life (quite literally). What are you waiting for, Assassin? Go do your bit.


(Jack Nicholson plays the Joker, and so do we. Almost every word in this edition of The Sunday Guardian 20 is an unnecessarily elaborate joke. Happy April Fools' Day from Guardian20, two days in advance!)

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