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A. Zombie wants to be President
  26th Aug 2012

The cable channel AMC has launched a satirical campaign to protest the removal of its zombie show The Walking Dead from Dish Network six weeks ago. Starting from a rally at San Diego last week, a certain 'A. Zombie' announced his candidature for the presidential election, backed by his running mate Noah Pulse. Zombie buffs dressed up for the occasion, shouting pro-democracy slogans. A. Zombie will soon embark on a whirlwind tour of the nation including stopovers in Dallas, Atlanta and New York. Since most zombie comments are variations on the phrase Aaaargh!" his wife Patti Morgan-Zombie has been interpreting his comments on issues like healthcare, immigration, economic reforms, taxation and foreign policy.

Granny stabs thief with forkBar owner sues New York police

The owner of a Brooklyn bar is suing New York City after police emptied the bar's entire stock of alcohol down the drain in a liquor license dispute, according to court papers. David Kelleran, 51, claimed in his lawsuit that the police's Prohibition-style tactics violated state law and trampled on his rights. And, in any case, the police got the wrong address. Kelleran, who owns the restaurant called 68, is seeking an unspecified amount of damages for the loss of alcohol worth "thousands of thousands" of dollars, his attorney Craig Trainor said on Thursday. to Earlier last week, the police had arrested him for selling alcoholic drinks without a license, and that too before the ten-day license renewal period was over. While he was in jail, police went into Coco66, a bar Kelleran owned next door to 68, and poured all his liquor down a drain.

Potty rebels on Adelaide beach

A surreal artistic protest by a dozen people at Henley Beach, Adelaide has raised quite a stink for local authorities. The underlying issue was a lack of public toilets at the beach. This had, in the past, led to beachgoers begging local café owners for access to their restrooms. The protestors made their position known by carrying toilets down near the water at Henley Beach, putting them in a straight line and then dropping drawers in unison and sitting on their pots. All of the protestors were wearing black bowler hats as they sat on their respective pots. This bizarre performance, titled The Coalition of the Constipated was visualised by artist Andrew Baines, who has been a Henley local for many years. Baines also plans to make a painting depicting the protestors soon.

Swingers' orgy sours into violence

Florida swingers Tina Norris and James Barfield came to blows last week after partying with a woman and two other men. It appears that neither Norris nor her boyfriend Barfield was too thrilled with the other person having sex with a stranger. After some partying, the Weeki Wachee couple allegedly lost it and began beating one another. Norris sustained a bloody lip, while Barfield suffered scratch marks on his neck and back. Police charged both suspects with domestic battery. Norris was slapped with an additional count of resisting arrest, as she refused to put on clothes.

Florida python smashes records

A Burmese python found in Florida set records as the largest snake ever captured in the state at 17 feet and 7 inches; and the most prolific reproducer carrying a record load of 87 eggs, according to researchers. The previous Florida record setters were a 16-foot, 8-inch python and 85 eggs. "It was huge," said Paul Ramey, spokesman for the Florida Natural History Museum at the University of Florida in Gainesville. To perform the necropsy, researchers "had to put three tables together and it took at least four people to pick it up and get it on the tables," Ramey said on Tuesday. Burmese pythons are native to Southeast Asia. The snake was captured in April in the Everglades National Park by researchers studying the impact of the pythons on native species. The eggs were discovered on Friday, university researchers said in a statement. After researchers finish with the snake, the skeleton or skin of its nearly 165-pound (75 kg) carcass is expected to be placed on public display, Ramey said.

Granny stabs thief with fork

Seventy-three-year-old Margaret Jackson gave a thief the shock of his life recently. The trouble began when Jackson's dog heard a noise in the backyard of her Houston home and began to act funny. When Jackson looked out of the window, she saw a teenager trying to break into her house. She grabbed a pair of scissors and a giant barbecue fork. The thief tried to push Jackson to the ground, and in the ensuing struggle, she stabbed him in the neck. The injured thief, however, escaped.

Sex is just a lot of hot air for 'looners' and 'poppers'

One's man plaything is another's sex toy. In the last episode of National Geographic's show Taboo, a Denver-based woman opened up about her fetish for balloons. Elle, a dominatrix, confessed to being a "looner", the term used by balloon enthusiasts to describe their fetish for latex-aided love. She mentioned that blowing up a balloon up until the point it's about to burst gets her excited. Elle additionally called herself a "popper", a person for whom the popping sound of balloons bursting is a metaphor for orgasm. Their polar opposites or "non-poppers" are horrified by the sound, and consider it a near-death experience. On the show, Karen McIntyre, a journalist who has studied the balloon fetishist culture said "looners" can be attracted to various aspects of the balloon, such as the smell, shape, or colour. The feel of latex rubbing against their skin also arouses them.

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