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My husband keeps a tab on my earnings

Q. I'm a 22-year-old jewellery designer and own a small showroom — it's actually my dad's, who passed away in January last year.  One of my friends from school who's into designing digital posters was really supportive and it soon became a romantic, very satisfying relationship. We got married last year with the blessings of my mother. But now, less than a year since we got married, there are so many problems that have crept up. What bothers me the most is the way my husband keeps tabs on my showroom orders and earnings and always makes a demand for money when he knows a big order has been paid for, and then blows it up on expensive drinks and five-star dining with friends. I don't want to break our marriage, but how can I stop this without fireworks erupting between us? Please advise me.


A. One way would be not to take large orders in your showroom or list them in your showroom order book, register or whatever. Surely you can fix up a meeting to discuss large orders elsewhere and maintain a separate record of them. In case things are done online, make sure your computer, laptop etc. can't be opened without a password or number and be firm about not disclosing it if asked, even though this may lead to some friction. Try and find a new place for getting large orders done. While all this will hopefully enable you to prevent the money from large orders being blown away, it will also mean hiding and keeping back a lot from your husband, which is not a desirable situation. Therefore, do think deeply about the future.

Q. My boyfriend and I are both in college now and we've had a great relationship since school. This summer, his NRI brother, who is divorced, landed up here to look for a new match and he really made things go down the drain for us. He kept making passes at me and my boyfriend thought I was encouraging him so that I could go with him to the States. It was all rubbish but my boyfriend felt betrayed and switched off from me. Now his NRI brother has got hitched, but my boyfriend is still totally off me. Is there any way I can set things right?

— A.

A. You say "I vibe beautifully with his sis and mom as well". Was that before your boyfriend "switched off" or do you still vibe well with them? You could try explaining the situation to them and enlisting their help.

Q. My dad's a divorcee and pretty good-looking and well off too, which gives him quite a following of socialites. One of them, also a divorcee, got very close to him but I found her very selfish and grasping and told my dad I'd be very unhappy if he married her. He loves me a lot so he said he wouldn't do it, but he shared what I felt with her and ever since she's had her claws in me. Soon after this I began getting abusive phone calls and I'm sure she's behind them. Should I confront her even though I'll risk being at odds with my dad?


A. You may be sure she's behind the calls but you can't be absolutely certain, can you, so why risk confronting her and being at odds with your dad? The best course would be to make a police complaint and let them get to the bottom of it. If indeed she is behind the calls, she'll be exposed.

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